I sit here on a Friday morning just staring at cyber space – thinking, smiling, reminiscing – just enjoying the moment … enjoying the feeling in my heart – it’s a wonderful feeling to still be in love with the only boy who swept me off my feet 24 years ago.

I don’t know if you’ve ever felt this way … Truly HAPPY and BLESSED – with a wonderful husband, who gave you beautiful kids and an exciting life. Sure my life is not all “flowers and chocolates and “froo-froo stuff” – it’s also filled with drama, adventure, mystery and occasional frustration but I am not going to complain. All in all – I am thankful for a LIFE full of emotions and interesting challenges. Everyday, I thank GOD for giving me my Johny.

A week ago, we celebrated our 24 year anniversary – we have been together longer than we’ve been apart – WOW!!! We’ve grown up together and I look forward to growing old with my honey. He accepts all of me (including all the flabs and faults). He is so patient, kind, giving, funny and smart … he lights up the room when he smiles. He still gives me the butterflies in my stomach when I know he’s coming home … and I know I’m still so much in LOVE.

He surprised me last Saturday by taking me to a Harry Connick Jr. concert at the Hollywood Bowl – what a perfect night it was. He also gave me a new camera – yay!!! cause my old one needed to retire. We wrapped up the weekend by watching “Inception” on Sunday evening – which was wicked good!!!

Thanks my love for making me feel so special.
Thanks for being a wonderful husband.
Thanks for being an awesome parent – and for going through this parenthood journey with me.
Thanks for being a cool dad to our kids and fur babies.
Thanks for listening to me when I whine and bitch about even non-sense stuff.
Thanks for working hard to take care of me and the kids.
Thanks for being truthful to me.
Thanks for teaching me what love is all about.
Thanks for choosing me to spend your life with.

I love you and I look forward to spending FOREVER with you.

It seems like yesterday, we were just making Easter cupcakes and homemade pizza, telling stories before bed time or even playing “Chicken Limbo”. It’s sad that we can’t go back in time and experience it all over again. But, I am happy that God allowed me the experience … of being loved by a special little boy, being kissed and hugged non-stop like there is no tomorrow, having his little hands hold mine … now, he no longer has eyes for his mommy but for another girl. It’s OK. I’m ok with that. I just want for him to be happy – always!

Having Nik has taught me valuable lessons in life … like:
- It is POSSIBLE to love more than one child – a mother’s heart is BIG – really BIG.
- Even when kids try your patience, and push your buttons to make you go “wacko” – it doesn’t mean that they don’t love you or want to give you a hard time, they just want to give you a challenge that will keep you on your toes. Nik has taught me how to be more resilient!
- Patience is a good thing! Even if it’s difficult to stay patient sometimes …. all we need to do is give people some space.
- It won’t kill you to apologize and accept that you have made a mistake – saying “sorry” doesn’t mean the end of the world – life will go on.
- It’s OK to be BOLD. Be yourself – have fun and life will be much better! Don’t be afraid to be brave!

Having Nik made me appreciate:
- Real talent and Persistence – I enjoy watching and listening to him play the guitar or piano and singing. I am so proud of him … he is sooooo good and I’m not saying that just because I’m his mom. Sometimes, I secretly wish I was as good as him. He is so persistent when it comes to learning music
- Motivation – When he sets his mind on something important – most times … he pushes through and hardly gives up (like his latest addiction – P90x)
- Courage – I see him perform with no hesitation. Each time he sings – I just want to scream … “that’s my boy! What a proud mommy I am!”

Thanks son … for teaching me a lot of important lessons in life. I look forward to learning more through you. I wish you the best in life – always. I love you Nik!

I am currently teaching Zumba classes successfully – meaning … my classes are growing – I am having more fun everyday meeting women like me who want to focus on taking care of their bodies. I am learning a lot – in business. I am fortunate to have a great place to teach Zumba – I just love the atmosphere – the camaraderie that we experience as exercise buddies. I love watching transformations – seeing how my Zumba peeps are slowly melting the inches away. I love how they smile when I compliment them about their hard work. It’s so fulfilling to be able to make a positive change in someone’s life.

Healthwise … I am doing fabulous. I am proud to say that I am OFF blood pressure and cholesterol medication. A big YAY!!!! The weight loss has helped plenty. I have lost a total of 15 pounds since March of this year. I still have quite a ways to go. Although the weightloss is gradual. I am happy. I have made some changes in terms of portion control and I am trying to eat healthy-ly (is that even a word?).

We have a new house-mate … my 84 year old mother in law. We have made a family decision to take her into our home as she is too old to live by herself – alone. Everyday with her is interesting. We have lived in the same house before … when my husband and I were younger but it was so much different way back then. Now … it’s an adventure. She’s definitely a character – I’ll tell you that. We are still adjusting to her and I’m sure she is adjusting to us.

The kiddos are not “kids” anymore. That is a sad reality for me. I never thought I would miss my babies as they were when they were little. My daughter has happily embraced adulthood – I am happy for her but I miss her. My older son will be in college in a few months. My not-so-little one will be a teenager in a few months. *sigh* I thank God everyday for giving me an opportunity to be a mother – for giving me beautiful children. I pray that I have taught and raised them well so that they can be well-functioning adults when they grow up.

All in all though … life is good at least in my neck of the woods. I am happy to focus on me a little bit more. Now, I have time to work (and have FUN while I work) – spend time with friends and rediscover why I chose to be with my one and only love …

How about you … how’s life treating you?

If you asked me six months ago … what I would be doing today … I would probably reply … “Oh, I dunno … maybe … nothing!”

When I was younger – I have always been upbeat, outgoing, and confident. Put a challenge in front of me and chances are – I will jump at it with no hesitation.

I’ve always loved dancing and used it as a way to express myself. Dancing was my life. Dancing made me happy! In high school and college, I was very active in the dance groups in school. In college, I even worked as a fitness instructor incorporating dance in what I teach. As I grew older, sadly, my energy level slowly diminished. I got too busy with putting my family first that I “lost myself” in the process. I put my needs and my health in the back burner and got busy being mom.

I forgot to take care of me to the point where new people I meet have known me to be “always big”. Heck, even my own kids never believed that once upon a time, mom used to be this skinny chick. Since they believe that I have always been “big” they can not imagine me being anything different. Through the years as I watch myself get bigger, the vision of me dancing once again simply turned into a blur.

Don’t get me wrong … my life as a mom has been incredible and a blessing and I will never trade that for anything in the world. But sometimes, secretly … as I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, I think and I wonder … what if … I never stopped dancing. What would my life be like? I would dream of getting skinnier and being happier and just doze off … dreaming … just dreaming.

When I was younger I was comfortable dancing in front of crowds. I was comfortable teaching people. Twenty years later … the confidence slowly flew out the window until now …

A few weeks ago, I have stepped out of my comfort zone. I am ready to take on a new challenge – to put my needs in the fore front. This doesn’t mean that my family is no longer my first priority. They still are – but, my kids are bigger now – they are now self sufficient and not dependent on mom anymore for everything. I have changed MY FOCUS to taking care of me so I can live longer to watch my babies grow until they have their own babies.

As I teach my Zumba classes, I have found the “old me” once again …HAPPY! The confidence level has gone up. I no longer lay in bed wondering … “What if…” I go to bed excited to wake up the next day to see what will happen next …

I have “muted” the volume of my negative self-talk completely. If before I used to say to myself … “I am so fat and out of shape. I will never be happy.” I now hear this loud and clear … “I look good, I feel great and today is going to be another wonderful day!”

If there is one thing that I have learned in the last few weeks, it is – to not give up on your dreams and that it is not enough to just lay there and wonder … “what if” – Get off your butt and do something about it. Do not let other people’s opinion of you become your reality.

Here’s a video of me really stepping out of my comfort zone. This is a sampling of what I do in my Zumba class. If you are up to it … get off you butt and join me do the “Waka Waka”. It’s pretty easy and a lot of FUN.

If you are in the Redlands, CA area, come and visit me in one of my Zumba classes.

A few people have told me that they are surprised about how quickly I got the ball rolling in terms of getting my classes started. My response is just … I took action! I didn’t wait for an opportunity to present itself to me … I made it happen. It is possible … anything is possible. If you can totally visualize it – your mind will find ways for it to become a reality.

It has been over 20 years since I have seen some of these girls (sadly we are no longer little girls but grown ups). As expected … there were a lot of screaming – not because there was any drama or arguments … but because of JOY and excitement. We have lost connection from each other but after this event we have FOUND new friendships – hence the LOST and FOUND.

Here are a few pictures I wanted to share from the weekend.

My roomies … we stayed at the Monte Carlo – such a beautiful hotel.

Friday night dinner at Claim Jumpers – I think we were the loudest group in the restaurant.

Saturday – main reunion event at the Palazzo. It was so nice to be in the same room as people who have the same thinking as you.

It was a collective effort to make this event a success – these are the people who helped to make it all possible.

We had great food, awesome souvenirs – including the shirts we were wearing and everyone even got a special award!

Sunday Brunch at Le Village in Paris Hotel.

It was sad to have to say goodbye to everyone on Sunday after brunch – but, we all had to get back to our families and our reality. My belly hurt so much not from over indulging in the food but from laughing so hard from all the stories. Everyone had lots to share. My throat hurt from screaming and talking so much. I still can not wipe the smile off my face – especially when I look at the photos from the weekend.

I missed being young – for a moment, I felt like I was a teen once again – re-living my high school years. But, I was also reminded of how much we all have grown.

The weekend made me realize how friendships are truly important. It doesn’t matter if our friends are far away – what matters is that we make the connection and stay connected. Social networks like facebook has made “friendships” possible with people we have lost touch with. It’s also a great way to re-connect and start new and better friendships.

This past weekend has been one of my happiest!

It has been a long time since I’ve seen some of my highschool friends – over 20+ years …. eeeek – I am OLD! Oh well … nothing I can do about that now. I just want to meet up with them – catch up – reminisce – and HAVE FUN! I have never been away from home for a weekend of FUN with my girlfriends. I am excited – not only because I’ll get to catch up with friends and reconnect … but also because I will be excused from housework for a couple of days. WOW … this mom’s gonna be “OFF DUTY”.

Here’s a sneak peek of my highschool picture … READY? Don’t laugh …

Can you guess which one I am?

YUP … this is “nerdy, anorexic” me …

I will be traveling with my sister. This is our first trip away – together … just the two of us on the road. I am looking forward to it. It’ll be 80′s music we will be listening to in the truck and I’m sure we’ll be singing all the way there … we love to sing and be weird (that’s just the way me and my sister are).

I’m not sure how my boys will handle me not being home … ah, I’m sure they’ll be fine. They are old enough to fend for themselves already anyway. I shouldn’t worry. I just want to make sure I have the house in order before I leave.

I’ll try to take lots of pictures and share only the better ones here in my blog. See you when I get back!

- I lost another pound since my last report on April 30 (don’t laugh – hey, it was just 5 days ago) so … since my OFFICIAL start date (when I made a commitment to exercise which was March 5, 2010) … I have lost 10 pounds – not too bad I think for close to 9 weeks of regular exercise.

– Now for the inches … drum roll please … I lost 1 inch in my waist , 1/2 inch in my hips, 1/2 inch on each arm and 1/2 inch on each thigh – these were just results from my 21 day Fitness challenge. So … total inches lost all over since I first started exercising in March 5, 2010 – 16 inches all over (waist, hips, chest,arms and thighs) – 6 inches of which was just from my waist alone!!! Over all I’m pleased with the gradual weight loss and inch-loss.

- My confidence has gone up a few notches. YAY! I no longer have to CROP my tummy and hips off from pictures. I can fit into my smaller jeans and actually do not mind wearing tank tops anymore.

- I have more energy. I stress-less. I am happier.

Here’s a photo of the gradual transformation below. Let me know what you think …

I have started teaching ZUMBA classes which is exciting. The classes are still small but that’s alright, I’m working on growing the class size – I get to exercise, have FUN, and motivate others. I had a few people jump into the 21 day challenge with me – not everyone started the same day I did. I hope they stick with it and give an update on what results they have gotten out of it.

PS – If you have not seen my ZUMBA site, feel free to take a peek at ProjectZumba.com .

There were lots of other people who attended – mostly women … I think there were only a couple of men. I had fun learning – it was a positively fabulous experience. Here’s a group photo below.

On Tuesday, I met with a dance studio owner to check out how much she charges for studio rental. The meeting went well and I look forward to start teaching classes there. We actually agreed on a schedule already. I have business cards and brochures ready. I am so PSYCHED! I already have a website all set up. You can take a peek at ProjectZumba.com.

It has been 8 weeks since I started exercising religiously. I am so proud of myself because so far, I have not slacked off. I have been GOOD! I am happy to report that I have lost 9 pounds and get this … 5 inches in my waist. That is a lot! I lost 2 dress sizes too. I am soooooo happy! Take a look at this photo below … I’ll tell you a story …

See the top I am wearing in this photo? My husband bought me this top 5 years ago – when I started doing Jazzercise for a few months (only because I was trying to lose weight cause we were going to Hawaii). I only did it for a couple of months – after the Hawaii trip – I gave up. I never got to wear it cause it was too small and I was embarrassed to tell my husband that it was too small. I was in DENIAL back then. I held on to it … for 5 years with the hopes that I will fit into it (some day). Well, a few days ago, in a whim … I tried to put it on and I was in SHOCK cause it fit me like a glove!

8 weeks was all it took to be able to get into this top and I held onto it for 5 years. Isn’t that ridiculous? I started thinking back about all the FUN stuff I missed out on cause I was too big. If I had only done something about it sooner … tsk, tsk, tsk … I just needed to be motivated and stick to exercising.

I know I am not the only one out there holding on to clothes with the hopes of fitting into it some day. If you are like me, dig into your closet and take that particular clothing out – use it as a motivation. The feeling of fulfillment is UNBELIEVABLY AWESOME!

PS – If you need an accountability partner, just let me know … I would love to cheer you on!

In early March of this year, I have made the decision to “take care of myself, love myself more and do everything I can to be healthier and happier”. I know I made the right decision. I have been exercising religiously for 7 weeks now and am happy with the results.

Three weeks into my exercising, my friend introduced me to Zumba. It’s a dance fitness program combining Latin and international music with dance to make exercise fun. A week after I got introduced to it, I made the decision that I want to get certified to teach it. You see, I have realized that it is my mission in life to encourage women to take care of themselves through exercise (like I did 20 some years ago when I used to be a fitness instructor). I know first hand how “busy” women get once they get married and have children. We tend to put other people’s needs ahead of ours and exercise and our health becomes the least of our worries.

I am glad to have motivated many women (especially from Facebook) about taking care of themselves. Who would have thought that a post about “my personal struggles” would have so much impact?

I go for certification tomorrow. I am so excited. It’s a full day workshop – a FULL Day of Dance – after which I will be certified to teach Zumba Fitness classes. It will be exhausting … but it will be well worth it. Wish me luck!

Often, I would say … “Next time” or “Next Week” or “tomorrow”.

And then all of a sudden you just stopped asking.

Then an opportunity to see my friends, pushed me to get “off my fat butt” and start doing something to lose the extra weight I have been carrying around. I don’t say anything right away to declare that I am officially working out or trying to get rid of the extra pounds I have gained through the years – maybe I was afraid to give up and disappoint you or me once again. I stuck with the exercise though for 3 weeks and when I finally started seeing results and was used to the exercise routine … I announced it to you. “I am OFFICIALLY working on losing weight.”

I see a smile in your face, I know you are proud of me and my efforts … and then I hear you say … “When it’s me asking you – when you are going to start exercising, you always say tomorrow or next week … it’s a good thing that your friends motivate you to start taking care of your health because I don’t seem to motivate you enough!”

Honey … “I’m sorry”. I didn’t want to fail you. I didn’t mean to ignore the signs that you were just concerned about my health. I know you love me and you want me to be healthy so we can be together forever and watch our kids grow.

It’s not that you do not motivate me – I was just too relaxed around you. I didn’t think that it mattered if I was heavy or skinny – I thought you loved me even if I were “jiggly”. I know that you do not judge me … I apologize for not taking care of me – I’m sorry if it seemed like I would care more about what my friends would think of me when they saw me. You are important to me. What you think and how you feel means the world to me. Thank you for always taking care of me and the kids. Thank you for loving me even if I know most days I drive you crazy.

PS – My promise to you my love is that … I will continue to take care of myself so I can better take care of you and the kids!